it has come to my attention that my actions are pissing people off.
ya know what i say?
honestly, i don’t give a fuck.
You hurt me. You hurt me so badly that I still, in some ways, want to make you hurt.
When did I say it was finished? And Black Hole, please don’t talk to me about hypocritical when you were nice to my face and then fucked my (then) fiancee. A woman’s perogative and right is to change her mind. After you hit puberty, you’ll understand.
DHMcB? How did I know what you were doing? Well, because unless you lied about that, too, you told me. You may not remember, but at one point, you told me everything.
I was prepared to let all this go, finally, til you had to go and open your big fucking mouth. Yes, it is quite true that nobody made me look any more than anyone will make you read this. So now, I am angry all over again.
I understand quite well about compassion. I understand grief as well. Yes, we were friends for a long, long time, Black Hole. So you will understand if I am a tiny bit bitter about that loss, especially when you are at least partially to blame.
I did have a thought yesterday, though. A mature thought, even. I wondered to myself when you and I will stop name calling and finger pointing and just accept that we were not up to that type of a relationship. I couldn’t stand the separation and you didn’t want to work for it. So that made me needy and you angry. Now I am angry. You may recall that once driven to that point that I have a horrible temper.
You can quite honestly think me psycho, bitter, whatever. I am bitter as hell. I am more bitter that you threw my friendship away than anything else.
You can say I am twisting things and concocting lies and half truths or whatever it was you said. I know what is true and so do you, if you’ll stop deluding yourself and be honest, even if it is with nobody but you.
Black hole, I hope you are watching very carefully. In a matter of time, you will be me. You will be the object of his anger and his hurtful words. Every single relationship he has been in has ended badly. Every single one. Bear that in mind. Not one has ended amicably. It may be months or it may be years, but you will be me. I just hope you remember that.
Dickhead McBastardly, I forgot to note that you will be grown when, regardless of how immaturely I am acting, you don’t reply in kind. You will be grown when you can own your actions. I own every bit of what I do. I own the baiting, I own the immaturity. Because, for me, this is a phase. For you, it is a way of life.
On another note, I never mentioned having a problem with either of you reading my blog. So don’t get all paranoid and pissy when I return the favor. Also, did you stop to remember that I am far from the only person here in this town that dislikes you? Did you forget that I am not the only one who you pissed off? It is a publicly accessible page, after all. Don’t assume that every “nac” person that drops by is me. Geez, paranoia much? If it makes you feel better to log my every movement on your little blogs, then feel free. I can drop you a line when I stop in, if it makes it that much easier for you to keep up with…no really, you don’t have to thank me. I do it because I care. *snOrt*
DH, I hope that one day you deal with your insecurities and your anger. I hope you learn that some things in life are worth putting out a little bit of effort for. I hope you stop blaming others for your circumstances and start taking responsibility. In short, I hope you find some maturity. Do take care, and feel free to drop by any time….
